This Easter season, I've been feeling a little different. Ali kindly invited me to have dinner with her and some of her playgroup friends. It was great to be around families and kids, and it was a nice contrast to my current state: on my own in the city, struggling to bond and make new friends, yet again. I feel like I've been trying to make new friends all year (first in Madrid, then back at Stanford, and now here) and it's hard. I went to church and kind of snuck under the radar, not really wanting to be noticed, even though my mom told me it was my mission to "put myself out there." I know it's a lifelong process, but I'm honestly kind of exhausted of putting myself out there...but I don't want to get comfortable in my loneliness, so I will persevere.
Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about Conference and Jeffrey R. Holland's talk about the Savior. It really touched me, and got me thinking about how Christ knows completely how we feel in all of our pain and can support us and carry us and sustain us because of how personal the Atonement is. When I was on the metro there were a bunch of kids and families...I guess tourist season is coming. So it was crowded and crazy, and the train was shaking and people were falling and stumbling all over the place. And I looked down and saw this little boy holding on to the rail. I'm not very good with guessing age, but I'm going to guess he was 5 years old. His little sister was standing next to him, and she couldn't reach the rail, so she was wrapping her arms as tightly as she could around his waist, hugging him, and holding on for dear life. I feel a lot like that girl right now. And I'm glad that I have the Savior to hold on to.