Monday, April 14, 2008

I lost it today because of this

this is my carpet with a few grains of rice on the floor that fell off Enzo's plate while he was having lunch. I could care less about it but Enzo cares a whole lot. He cares so much that he can't continue eating or do anything else until the rice is picked up off the floor. He screams, he kicks, he shouts, he won't function. It's a million times worse when it falls on him, then he REALLY looses it and is not consoled until it's clean. He eats with a dish towel always close by so that if any food or drink falls on him he can be cleaned up immediately. This is driving me CRAZY. I know it's not untypical 2 year old behavior and that kids have their little obsessions. Christian is sympathetic because he remembers going through a phase where if his shirt was wet he would have to change it immediately. I don't remember being this particular but I love Enzo and I am trying hard to be understanding but today I completely lost it. I try to deal with it to a certain extent but sometimes I ignore it and there has been times where I'll put him in time out which is probably not the best approach but i just feel like he's being a a whinny brat and I don't want to encourage it at all. So I either deal with it, ignore it, or punish it.

Today we were on our way to the doctor and he was eating cheerios and one of the cheerios fell and Enzo flipped out. He screamed and cried and wanted desperately to get out of his car seat so he could pick up the cheerio. I couldn't deal with it because I was driving and I couldn't ignore it because he was screaming right in my ear and I felt like I was going to crash the car because it was making me so angry. So I screamed back at him STOP RIGHT NOW and a few other things. He stopped. I couldn't believe it. It was so bitter sweet. I felt like I had succeeded at making him stop being whinny over a stupid cheerio. At the same time I feel like I am missing the point. Obviously to him it's not just stupid it's important and also I don't want to have a screaming relationship with him, ever. Any suggestions on what to do to keep my sanity but not have to scream at him and also not encourage this O.C.D behavior?

I know I need to relax and just not take him so seriously but it's been going on for so long now that it's really getting to me.


Mariko said...

Man. That sucks. I lose it with Amaya over less specifically annoying things. I haven't all out yelled at her, but sometimes I feel like I have to totally ignore her because I'm just really annoyed with the fact that I spent an hour trying to make her take a nap and she wouldn't. She'll bring books to me and I'll just keep reading my own or walk away. It's really mean, and there's no way that she could possible associate my behavior as any sort of punishment of her own. Mostly it just makes her more anxious, which is what makes her more stressful to take care of. Talk about teaching behavior. To the parent. Sometimes I feel like it's the only way to deal with it for that hour or so, because then I can get over it, and she's just happy that she didn't have to take a nap.
He must be a pretty clean eater, which is awesome. Our carpet is riddled with untold crumbs and pieces of dinners that are now invaded by ants. I hate cleaning the kitchen floor or vacuuming. It's just such a waste of time for a state that will last only as long as she is asleep.

Bekah said...

That could get annoying real fast. He's awful young, but you might just give him ownership over his compulsion as in "Enzo is sad there is rice on the floor. Enzo needs to pick up the rice. When Enzo drops food on the floor and he is sad, Enzo needs to pick up the food." And sounds like some cave man speak might help, too. "ENZO MAD! ENZO NO LIKE FOOD FALL! ENZO SAD! ENZO PICK UP FOOD!"

Kaylynn would freak out when shampoo lids were open. Everything needed to be closed.

Of course I have no idea if these would work, but maybe it will. And always, this too shall pass.

Damaris said...

The cave man thing totally doesn't work with him. Maybe I'm not good at it, it feels totally ridiculous and fake and he senses it.

He cleans up right away. As soon as it falls he is on the floor cleaning up and that's what makes it so annoying because meal time lasts forever between chewing and picking food off the ground. He also freaks when lids are open especially if the lids are dirty. In bath time he washes his body and then he'll wash the soap bottle. He's just obsessive about cleanliness in general. The good thing is that he is already ready to clean up his toys, I don't even have to ask him. I probably won't mind this obsession when he's a teenager.

by the way today he already yelled at me three times "STOP" which only started after me yelling at him yesterday. hummm I'm not making progress people.