Monday, February 4, 2008

The (Un) Matron

The first time I spent a significant chunk of time at the Palmer household, I found myself surprised at the relaxed atmosphere where a mother could actually suspend her judgment and maturity to relate to her children (and their friends) without giving up respect and rank in the household. This is always what we, as teenagers, requested of adults ("We want to be treated like adults!") but we also realized that it was a paradox of a situation. Pam is the only person I know that can extend the range of time in empathy and advice. She somehow is connected with a huge range of her own personal experience when most of us forget a feeling or attitude within days, and she does not lord over anyone with her "knowledge" of the way the world is or should be. She also cares very deeply for everyone. She is slow to blame-- usually she will turn it on herself first. She always looks for ways to improve her relationships with others and has the kind of self-reflection that I wish I could maintain. I don't think she gives herself enough credit for how amazing she is. In her situations, I would have already wallowed in self-pity and blamed every other factor before failing miserably. I could only wish to garner as much respect and love from my family and friends as she has. I count myself lucky to be a part of her routine and life.


Pamela Palmer said...

wow, who made that cool tie dye? as usual mariko, you exceed the standard as birthday facillitor. ginger lei, pink inner autograph innertube, cinderella balloon, three huge berry cobblers, garlic press, silicon lids, wooden spoon, entertaining the guests at the party, this post, and i'm sure i'm forgetting something. you gave me a big chunk of your very busy day(s) and i appreciate it very much. i don't know that all those things are true about me, but i'm glad you think so. it's going to be a sad day for me when (if) you aren't part of my daily life. thanks for being such a solid, wonderful friend.

Jesse said...

Happy Birthday mom. Wasn't sure which of these posts to add to. Hope you find this. I really appreciate your good advice. Many times you have given me a new perspective on some thing I'm dealing with. As I get ever so slightly older, I realize that wisdom and maturity aren't really things that just happen automatically with age and so I admire you for continuing to think about things and grow. Sorry if I sometimes give you a hard time, but if so, it's only because we are invested in the relationship. I agree with Mariko that you have a wonderful ability to treat people as equals and are very good about keeping the most important things in perspective. Anyway, hope you have a wonderful year. I feel very lucky to have you and dad for my parents, even if it does make it mean I have to take responsibility for my own inadequacies. Love, Jesse

Pamela Palmer said...

thanks jesse. i love you so much too. i've always known you have a huge capacity for love even if you don't always think so. keep it up. mom